I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
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