Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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