I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
tell me about the eggs
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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