So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Randomize
