he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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