I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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