R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
