So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
