Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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