i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
