I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize