so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Randomize
