i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
