i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
