id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this boner is exhausting
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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