His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
