So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
