Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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