Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
