How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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