i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Couch. On fire.
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