you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
