So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
