my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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