I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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