You smell like stripper and shame
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
