I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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