I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
