you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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