I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
