Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
