why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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