My brain says no but my pants say off.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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