weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
