Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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