Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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