he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
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HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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