If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
