Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
