why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
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Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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