This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
