Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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