If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
