i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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