i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
