I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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