that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
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