Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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