SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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