For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Text me some of your sweat
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
