It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Damn victory sex feels great
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
