i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sext me about skeletons
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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