You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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