he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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