Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
