Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
