North Korea, Best Korea!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
