Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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