Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it's great music for shaving your balls
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
